There is a saying that goes, "if you know you know". Funny thing about this statement is that we don't know. Acting like we know creates a real
problem. To tell you the truth, the main problem is we do not
have an instruction manual on how two people, who are very different,
can learn to complement each other and build a mutually supportive
marriage (let alone relationship).
It is a skill to know what you want from the other person. How do you see that it is effective and are you really that right candidate for that person in relationship. A topic for another day... for now The topic is focused on
to see that you on right track in relationship.
people have heard of the word covenant but have no idea what it
means. What you must know is
that marriage is a scared covenant. Once we understand that marriage
is a covenant, then we can busy our self on learning how to
communicate our thoughts. Feelings, opinions, desires, frustrations
and dreams in a positive manner. I believe we must first try to give
our selves the freedom to think and feel differently. Then after we must
learn on how to build intimacy in marriage. (Of-course for those who
want to get married).
It is easy to equate intimacy with sexual intercourse, but unless we build intellectual, emotional, social and spiritual intimacy we may never find mutual sexual fulfillment. Intimacy is the heart of marital satisfaction. It is how we feel deeply connected to each other.
* Intellectual Intimacy requires sharing of thoughts and ideas without the fear of condemnation
* Emotional intimacy means the sharing of feelings where negative or positive
* Social intimacy has to do with sharing life's experiences
* Spiritual intimacy has to do with sharing spiritual journey.
Sharing life's experience
Sharing spiritual journey
When all these are in place, they lead naturally to sexual intimacy and lots of the details will follow soon. First we will discuss about communication. Communication involves self-revelation on the part that one individual is listening in part of another. In the simplest form, it is talking and listening, unless talking and listening is accompanied by honest, loving feedback on the part of the listener. Knowing the first person to include in all this, being God is the ultimate and forever lasting treasures you can have for yourself and partner.
There is nothing in life more important than this kind of relationship with God: as it enhances life both here and hereafter.
Body language is another sign to look out for. It is supposed to tell us about the people by the way they fold their arms, cross their legs, sit, speak or use facial expressions. We can pick up cues in a persons behaviour by not only looking at them. In other words, we can conclude that when the woman is crying , she is crying not because she is troubled but we can ask if its tears of joy maybe she is overjoyed by happiness. We overcome all this by talking.
The road to destructive relationship is mostly caused by deficient communication. Couples who don't have a "sit down look at me. Lets talk” time. Instead, anytime is tea time for them. So, in nutshell, couples who practice sharing time tend to talk more with each other at other times as well.
Action speak louder than words right? The little tiny things are indications that should be signs that love is invested. The five love languages by Gary Chapman is a must read in terms what do give as an indication that love really exists.
Words of Affirmation like "you look nice today Terry".
Acts of service include: "what would you like for me to do for you". Washing dishes, cleaning the house anything.
Give gifts:- Some PS-I
love you kind of chocolates are meaningful. By the way, a simple gift like that says "hey, Im thinking about you". I remember me buying a crush in high school.
Quality time, the one was talking about earlier.
And lastly one important aspect love language is physical touch.
Some of the the comments are influenced by the book by Gary Chapman, Author of "Now you Talking My language". We will someday continue jotting down as to why this topic is intriguing to the admin.
We learn to live life on how to live it. We are not afraid of what-ifs. We are lovely human beings as we are here on earth to leave a legacy by the things we do on earth. We live by the kindness given by others. xoxo ....